I was around for the Shrewsbury and Telford hospital trust report a couple of years ago. All those dead babies, all those mothers and parents talking about not being listened to or respected. All that handwringing from service providers, all those promises from politicians. The recommendations were set up to prevent the experiences we heard about this week (‘I was left lying on the ground in pain’: shocking stories from UK birth trauma inquiry, 13 May). For instance, continuity of midwifery care through the maternal pathway prevents so much of the stuff we read about now.
There are plenty of reasons to love Dolly Parton. In addition to being one of the best singer-songwriters of all time, she is a fashion icon, a feminist, and a philanthropist. Her charitable contributions even helped fund the discovery of the COVID-19 vaccine. All this and she sends free books to kids?
Yes, the country star and namesake of the Dollywood theme park is also the founder of the non-profit Imagination Library. The program, which aims to provide free books to children ages five and under, was inspired by Parton's father, who was unable to read or write she was growing up—fueling the singer's own commitment to literacy.
Once you register your eligible child for the program, you will begin receiving one free book each month, shipped to your home, through their fifth birthday (up to 60 books total). According to the organization's website, since 1995 it has donated nearly 227 million books to children in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, the Republic of Ireland, and Australia, with over 29 million given out last year alone.
Signing your kids up for this service is a relative breeze. There are no complicated requirements, other than meeting the age criteria and residing in an area served by the program. Read on to discover how your family can participate.
How to sign up for the Imagination Library
To get free books from Dolly Parton (or rather, her charitable foundation), you'll first have to see if the Imagination Library is in your community. Start by visiting the organization's availability page. Once there, choose your country and enter your zip code.
If the program is available in your area, you'll have to submit your mailing address and some personal information (name and age) about your child on the next page. If online isn't your thing, contact your local affiliate to sign them up directly. (If a program isn't available where you live, the website will prompt you to join a mailing list so you know if and when that changes.)
As noted, income is not a factor in participating in Dolly Parton's book club program, so every child can participate, regardless of a family's financial situation. As long as an affiliate is in your area, you can enroll your child.
What books will I get?
Enrolling your child in the Imagination Library from birth means you'll receive up to 60 different books—one for each month of your child's life, from birth through their fifth birthday. The books selected will change monthly, but the first and last books are always the same: Each child begins the program with the classic The Little Engine That Could and wraps up with Kindergarten, Here I Come!
According to the organization, the books you'll receive will be age-appropriate and promote diversity, self-confidence, and the importance of the arts. They are also available in audio and braille formats for children with hearing or visual impairments. Past selections have included Last Stop At Market Street, Peter Rabbit, and The Big Book.
What if there isn't an Imagination Library affiliate in my area?
If there's no Imagination Library in your area, you can do the work to establish an Imagination Library affiliate.
To begin, you will need to find ways to financially cover the wholesale cost of the books, as well as the cost of mailing them, which you can do through fundraising or seeking partnerships. The books are mailed at special non-profit mailing rates, so you will also need to find a non-profit partner, such as a school district or charitable foundation, to qualify for these rates.
If you're ready to get started, click here for more tips on getting your Imagination Library affiliate off the ground and more books into the hands of kids.
In obvious news: The world is becoming more impolite. Scroll through your TikTok feed or watch your local news, and you'll likely see plenty of clips of people being tactless while shopping for groceries, boarding an airplane, or standing in line at their favorite fast-food restaurant.
This rash of rudeness doesn't seem to be going away soon, either. Per a report released last year by King's College London, only 52% of parents in the United States believe good manners are essential for kids to learn—a nearly 25% drop from 1990.
According to Forbes, incivility can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. In that piece, Joseph Shrand, MD, instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Chief Medical Officer of Riverside Community Care, and author of Unleashing the Power of Respect: The I-M Approach, talks about getting back to "the lost art of manners" and showing others kindness and understanding. "When is the last time you got angry at someone treating you with respect?" he asked.
One place to start is by teaching children basic manners and having parents model appropriate behavior. Given our busy schedules, it's sometimes easier said than done. If caregivers focus on an essential few rules of etiquette to get started, politeness may again become contagious.
With that in mind, here are some indispensable manners to teach year children before they turn nine.
Say "please" and "thank you"
"Please" is the magic word, and using it when asking for something can get you what you want most of the time. Its counterpart, "thank you," is the surest way to express gratitude to someone. Most of us probably drill this into our kids already, but it's a surprisingly tough one for kids to remember, so make sure you model it yourself when you're asking them to do something, whether that's picking up their toys or brushing their teeth. Even if you've already asked them a few times.
Wait for your turn to speak
Waiting to enter the conversation requires considerable patience, an art that even adults grapple with. My two sons struggle with this concept as one sibling typically believes they are getting considerably more face time with a parent than the other. By explaining that waiting for their turn to speak will cause less frustration and ensure they will be given equal time, we've cut down on the rude interruptions a bit. (Just make sure you are allowing them room to speak too.)
Say "excuse me"
There will be moments when your child needs to interrupt a discussion (bathroom break). Let them know the preferred way to enter the conversation at these times is by saying, "Excuse me." This phrase is also helpful when attempting to avoid bumping into others.
Don't make comments on someone else's appearance
As someone who was teased about their appearance throughout adolescence, it took me a while to realize that my kids weren't saying rude things about me to hurt my feelings. They simply had not developed the social skills to know that it might make someone else uncomfortable to do so. One way we've tried to build that skill in our kids is to explain that they shouldn't make comments about how someone looks, and discreetly remind them when they forget.
To add, it's also important not to call each other names. As someone who regularly reads the Dog Man series of graphic novels to my kids, it's a hard concept to get across, when each book seemingly has a chapter dedicated to insulting someone else. But name calling can lead to hurt feelings down the road, and as silly as it sounds, I try to remind them that while calling someone a "one-nosed bubble dumpling" is fine in a comic, it can lead to hurt feelings in real life.
Avoid swearing
This skill is a tough one to get across, especially since we've started showing PG-13 movies to our oldest kid. Initially we thought sidestepping the words would be best, but identifying the "s-word," "d-word," and "f-word," etc. has made it easier for him to avoid using them. If he has questions about whether or not a word is acceptable, we usually ask, "Would you feel comfortable saying that to your teacher?" It's helped him figure things out on his own.
Ask how someone else is doing
In other words, when someone asks how you are, you should reply and return the favor. It shows interest and goes a long way in making others feel seen and welcome.
Seek permission
Most families have a system for using items that require authorization, such as playing on the Switch or using certain toys around the home. To prevent frustration, we tell our kids that if there is any doubt whether they need permission to use something, they should ask.
Ask others if they need help
Asking others of they need help teaches kids to look out awareness, how to be proactive, and the importance of looking out for others.
Hold the door
When I pick up or drop off my kids at school, I see firsthand how confused even parents can be about this simple act of kindness. It can lead to a pileup of bodies at the entrance. It will take some practice, but you can reiterate that it takes just a moment out of your child's day to help someone safely get through the door.
Knock when a door is closed
It's polite to respect someone's privacy. When teaching your kids to knock before entering, remind them to wait for a response before coming in.
Send thank-you notes
When receiving a gift from a friend or relative, saying "thank you" is fine, but showing gratitude with a card or note is even better. Making a thank-you note can also be a fun activity for your child.
Proper dinner table behavior
Mealtime etiquette encompasses several behaviors, such as holding utensils properly, placing a napkin on your lap at the dinner table rather than using your sleeve, and not reaching across the table to get something. Have a refresher course regularly so your kids remember their table manners.
It was a typical day when my youngest son, just five years old, suddenly looked terrified. The bathroom hand dryers we were using were a bit too loud for his comfort, and the sudden increase in noise seemed to startle him. This incident wasn't the first time such a thing had happened: He had a similar reaction whenever the vacuum cleaner was turned on or my wife used her hair dryer.
"We think of it more as how [children] process sounds in their brain, rather than their hearing structures," explains Dr. Aditi Arvind Bhuskute, Assistant Professor in the Department of Otolaryngology at UC Davis Children's Hospital.
The issue lies not in the ears but in how the brain interprets and reacts to sound. Hyperacusis is something that most children can grow out of, but until they do, there are effective ways you can manage the condition's symptoms. We'll explore some strategies to make loud sounds easier for your young child to tolerate.
The difference between hearing loss and hearing sensitivity
While it often comes with tinnitus, a condition usually associated with hearing loss that involves ringing, whistling, clicking, or roaring sounds in your ears, hyperacusis is not the same as hearing loss.
According to the World Health Organization, those who cannot hear as well as someone with normal hearing (hearing thresholds of 20 dB or better in both ears) suffer from hearing loss, which can affect one or both ears and range from mild to severe. Those with hearing loss have difficulty hearing conversations or loud sounds.
"Hearing loss is pretty well defined," says Bhuskute. "We have very structured ways of diagnosing and treating hearing loss in children."
On the other hand, hyperacusis is the inability to tolerate common and familiar sounds at a volume or pitch that would be normal to others, such as a gymnasium, a crowded restaurant, or bathroom hand dryers. Seeing your child with their hands over their ears, crying, or becoming anxious and avoiding certain places could be a sign they are dealing with a sound sensitivity.
"We don't have a test that shows a person is highly sensitive to sound because the way we test hearing is a response to sounds in a quiet audiology booth," says Bhuskute. "If a child has completely normal hearing, we don't have any other reason why a child is sensitive to noise."
How do I know if hyperacusis is part of a more significant condition?
As stated above, most children grow out of their sensitivity to sound and noise. However, symptoms can persist in those with neurodevelopmental issues, such as those with autism or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Neurodivergent children's preferences in how they process sensory input can manifest in a number of ways, from their enjoyment of foods of a specific texture to their dislike of particular sounds and noises.
If you're concerned that hyperacusis could indicate a neurodivergent condition, Bhuskute recommends visiting a developmental pediatrician or a psychologist. They can screen and monitor your child for any developmental or behavioral conditions. She also recommends keeping an open line with your child's teacher.
"Some concerns that [a teacher] may have are often the first time parents notice that there's an issue," says Bhuskute.
How do I manage my child's hyperacusis?
Thankfully, as parents, you have the power to help your children manage their sensitivity to loud noises and sounds. There are several strategies that can be effective.
Use noise-canceling headphones or earplugs
Children, whether sensitive to noise or not, should wear ear protection at concerts or other loud environments. However, if loud sounds make your child physically uncomfortable in a typical environment, give them the option of wearing earplugs or headphones.
Warn them that noise is coming
If you know you're going to vacuum, turn on a blender, or use a hand dryer, let your child know ahead of time so they're relaxed and prepared when it comes on. They can put their hands over their ears if they don't like that sound.
Encourage them to make sounds of their own
Clapping, banging, and turning on the vacuum on their own can give children control over the noises they may not like, making a loud environment less stressful (for them; you, not so much).
Use a white noise machine
Increasing background sounds can make sudden loud sounds less surprising.
A new category of apps promises to relieve parents of drudgery, with an assist from A.I. But a family’s grunt work is more human, and valuable, than it seems.
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