⚽ Premier League updates from the 8pm GMT kick-off
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2 min: Doherty skittles Martinelli out on the left. An early free kick for Arsenal. Rice’s delivery is uncharacteristically poor, failing to beat the first man … and that first man is Doherty, who makes good his mistake by clearing.

Arsenal get the ball rolling. They haven’t lost at home yet this season, winning ten from 11. Godspeed, Wolves.

⚽ Utrecht 1-2 Nottingham Forest, Ferencvaros 2-1 Rangers
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Stuttgart 3-1 Maccabi Tel Aviv. Some bonus content here. No need to thank us! And there really is no need to thank us, because it comes courtesy of our old MBM and Clockwatch pal Kári Tulinius. “Stuttgart looked like they were heading to the most comfortable of home wins when they went 3-0 up after yet another defensive rick by Maccabi, when the normally reliable Alexander Nübel tried to save Roy Revivo’s shot with a hand so weak it seemed like it was made out of cottage cheese. The comedy defending moment still goes to the visitors, though, who let in an opener after a covering defender simply fell on his behind while tracking a high ball, giving Lorenz Assignon all the time in the world to measure the aim on his volley.”

Callum O’Dowda swings a ball in from the left wing. Barnabás Varga heads into the top-right corner from close range. He couldn’t miss, partly because the nearest defender, Emmanuel Fernandez, was the wrong side of the striker, facing upfield, then span around in confusion, making no challenge whatsoever. Comically poor defending.

⚽ Updates from the 8pm GMT kick-off at the Bernabéu
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1 min: A fierce old atmosphere in the Bernabéu. It’s Real Madrid in the Champions League after all. It’s Real Madrid versus a Pep team. And then …

Hats off to Erling Haaland, who goes out of his way to say hello to a couple of the tiny mascots and give them a high five. Once he goes off down the line, the little lads embrace each other with excitement, their day made. So sweet. Then City get the ball rolling.