In World Cup parlance, Qatar was Fifa president Gianni Infantino’s qualifier. Now it’s the big time for Trump’s dictator-curious protege

I used to think Fifa’s recent practice of holding the World Cup in autocracies was because it made it easier for world football’s governing body to do the things it loved: spend untold billions of other people’s money and siphon the profits without having to worry about boring little things like human rights or public opinion. Which, let’s face it, really piss around with your bottom line.

But for a while now, that view has seemed ridiculously naive, a bit like assuming Recep Erdoğan followed Vladimir Putin’s election-hollowing gameplan just because hey, he’s an interested guy who likes to read around a lot of subjects. So no: Fifa president Gianni Infantino hasn’t spent recent tournaments cosying up to authoritarians because it made his life easier. He’s done it to learn from the best. And his latest decree this week simply confirms Fifa is now a fully operational autocracy in the classic populace-rinsing style. Do just absorb yesterday’s news that the cheapest ticket for next year’s World Cup final in the US will cost £3,120 – seven times more than the cheapest ticket for the last World Cup final in Qatar. (Admittedly, still marginally cheaper than an off-peak single from London to Manchester.)

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

The Green party leader is riding high in the polls. But across the political spectrum, uncritical adulation leads nowhere fast

Shortly after Donald Trump launched his first White House run in 2015, television’s Kelly Osbourne made one of her regular appearances on The View, which is basically the American version of Loose Women but doesn’t feel the need to have a cringey title. Trump had made some extremely nasty comments about Mexican immigrants, and Kelly had a rhetorical question for the other ladies gathered round the wood-effect dining table that morning. “You kick every Latino out of this country,” she sassed, “then WHO is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?”

Oooooof. The reaction from fellow panellist Rosie Perez was instantaneously negative, to the point that even Kelly realised in the moment that this needed clean-up. Apparently there weren’t any willing rubber-gloved Latinos on hand, so madam was going to have to do it herself. “I didn’t mean it like that,” Osbourne shot back. “Come on! You know I would never mean it like that! I’m not part of this argument.” A media firestorm nonetheless ensued, though Kelly declined to apologise for even the appearance of racism, I think on the basis that people like her simply are not capable of subconsciously holding unpleasant views that they accidentally reveal while making important TV appearances.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist