He’s so anxious that it took the presenter 47 years to even try ham. This travelogue, in which Ant and Dec send him to South Korea to overcome phobias – including nudity – is strangely charming

What can I tell you about Stephen Mulhern? He’s an ITV presenter (Dancing on Ice, Deal or No Deal, You Bet), magician, longtime friend of Ant and Dec, he’s never had hummus or tasted a prawn, and he’s only recently been introduced to ham. “I like what I like,” he says simply, when Ant (or Dec – I never did have them straight in my mind and it’s honestly too late to start now) asks him how it is possible to have avoided ham for 47 years.

“He’s odd,” says Dec (maybe – see above) fondly. “He’s an odd man.” “Sheltered,” supplements Ant. “Set in his ways.”

Martin Compston and Meera Syal are among the names in this tale of divorcees hitting back at their exes. It’s a thriller, comedy and psychodrama all at once – but could maybe do with being more simple

Sometimes three-in-one type things are good. Phone chargers with lots of leads for all your devices that have stupidly different ports. Those woolly hats that cover your neck and lower face, so you look daft but are impregnable to winter cold. The Nars blusher stick that is also a lipstick and eyeshadow.

When it comes to dramas, however, it’s best to stick to one field of endeavour. The Revenge Club is a gallimaufry of tones, styles and performances. Watching it is like looking through a kaleidoscope that someone twists for you every few minutes; it’s fun but quite disorienting after a while.

My offer to host dinner is declined. My cooking is never good. Triumph lies in the fact food is cooked and not full of bacteria

Yeah, I’m gonna say it – stop with the fetishisation of sandwiches, already! Obviously we’ve had the annual rejoicing over the advent (Ha! See what I did there?) of the Pret Christmas offering and the paler imitations thereafter by lesser chains and retail outlets. Now Harrods is getting in on the act with a £29 version on sale at its steakhouse, the Grill on Fifth. It consists of a burger patty (and listen, let’s get rid of the word ‘patty’ while we’re about it, shall we? Why? Because it’s viscerally hateful, that’s why), roast turkey breast, stuffing, a pig in a blanket, spiced red cabbage, cranberry sauce and turkey gravy.

It’s humbling to witness the eloquence and dignity of these survivors as they talk about their experiences with John Smyth – possibly the most prolific serial abuser ever associated with the Church of England

John Smyth was a sadistic predator who used to groom the boys in his care then beat them with such viciousness that he would have to provide adult nappies for them to wear afterwards lest they leave blood on the chairs in his home when he brought them back from his shed. He upgraded the shed at one point, to make it soundproof. One of the men who suffered at Smyth’s hands as a boy remembers bleeding for weeks after. Another says: “I honestly thought I was going to die.” Another says that despite the pain the worst part was afterwards, when Smyth would cover the boy’s bloodied body with his and nuzzle his sweaty face into the boy’s neck and give him butterfly kisses. In his nightmares it is “that draping” he relives.

Smyth, who died in 2018, was also a husband, a father of three children, a respected barrister, a prominent Christian evangelist, a moral campaigner, a man deeply involved with Winchester College (where he would give talks about the law and Anglicanism and invite interested boys to his family home for further discussions over Sunday lunches) and with the Church of England. He ran the Iwerne Christian summer camps for boys in Dorset and Zimbabwe throughout the 70s and 80s. All of this gave him uncountable opportunities to indulge his sadism. One boy in his care, Guide Nyachuru, died. An accidental drowning, said Smyth. Nyachuru was a strong swimmer. His family remains convinced that their 16-year-old boy died as a result of abuse by Smyth and was placed in the water afterwards. Smyth succeeded in discrediting the lawyer who was set to prosecute him for culpable homicide and fled back to England.