Will I ever look as elegant as Audrey Hepburn? Ask me once I’ve finished licking my nostrils and pinching my jowls

A brilliant author and artist recently opened my eyes to the wonderland of jaw exercise videos. Smiling women in pastel-coloured vest tops chew the air, stretch their lips and tilt their tongues towards their perfectly formed noses. Angry men in blue polo shirts push tennis balls into their chests. People in medical scrubs try to lick their nostrils. Women with perms pinch at their jowls as if they are trying to crimp a pasty. It’s wild out there.

Now, I worked in consumer media and advertising long enough (for more than 30 seconds) to know that pretty much anything that says it can change your face, or life, or relationship, will do nothing of the sort. In my heart, I recognise that my face is my face, a slowly collapsing combination of genetics and expressions that has changed very little since I was about three. Look at my first nursery portrait – in which I am sitting in a pink nylon jumper in front of a marble-effect backdrop – and you can see 39-year-old Nell smiling back at you. Yet the promise of a new, sharp, Hepburn-esque jawline, created from nothing more than a five-minute routine at my desk, is so tantalising – so deeply penetrates a lifelong desire to look like someone else – that I am struggling to resist.

Got a beauty dilemma? Our expert is here to offer advice. This week, Petra is unhappy with the way her hair colour is growing out

There is often an awkward phase when growing out a hair colour. It takes four to five months to get a few inches of hair growth at the roots, but celebrity stylist Michael Douglas says: “It is the best way to grow the colour out, while regularly getting the ends of the coloured hair trimmed”. If you hate the roots, try a root powder instead of a spray; they last longer and aren’t as drying.

If – like Sarah Jessica Parker – you’d rather go down the colour route, Douglas suggests grey-blending: “Having thin, subtle highlights or balayage is a great way of blending your greys with your base colour, and some face-framing highlighted strands will brighten the face. After your hair has been bleached, you may find that your grey highlights start to look a little brassy, due to the toner being washed out, but using a purple toning shampoo can help.”

Combine a winning fragrance with that sublime glossy finish

I’ve always loved oils: the glide, the texture, the way they immediately absorb into your skin and give you that sublime glossy finish that catches the light in all the right places and just makes everything look more alive. There is also something quite luxe and indulgent about the tangibility of an oil – much more exciting than, say, a body lotion, which can feel a bit noncommittal and pedestrian. The lush factor of an oil is taken up a notch when you add the element of fragrance to it. I love a product that is effective, makes the daily chore of beauty a delight and, crucially, has a dual purpose – which a scented body oil absolutely does. It will deeply moisturise your skin so it doesn’t fall to pieces, but it will also make you smell really nice – particularly with these oils here, many of which have been developed with world-class perfumers. Still, there are lots of people who automatically swerve body oils, for making skin too sticky and clammy – particularly in the summer – and leaving stains on clothing. But these are light, deeply hydrating and a joy to use. So try one, I promise you won’t feel as if you’re being slathered in vegetable oil.

1. Susanne Kaufmann Marigold Body Oil £28, susannekaufmann.com
2. Augustinus Bader Geranium Rose Body Oil £85, augustinusbader.com
3. Elemis Frangipani Body Oil £46, elemis.com
4. Ilapothecary Speak Your Truth Body Oil £51, cult beauty.co.uk
5. Maison Francis Kurkdjian Scented Body Oil £95, selfridges.com
6. Diptyque Satin Oil £48, diptyqueparis.com
7. Buly Perfumed Body Oil £50, buly1803.com
8. Gabar Touch Body Oil £55, gabarworld.com
9. Aesop Breathless Oil £30, aesop.com
10. Nuxe Multipurpose Dry Oil £22, lookfantastic.com

It adds moisture and unclogs pores, making this long-overlooked wonder ingredient a best friend for any skin type

Glycerin. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride – until now.

When I was little, my father told me that in Hollywood, actors’ tears were often not real – they were glycerin, smeared lightly under eyes then dropped on to an actor’s made-up face. The tears looked like water, but rather than drying out like water does, they stayed wet, ready to roll slowly down a slick actor’s cheek.

As Love Island returns, Chanté Joseph speaks to former contestant Nas Majeed and Guardian writer Simon Usborne, about the increasing pressure to achieve the perfect male body

Archive: Tik Tok, ITV

As tens of thousands of lawsuits related to Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Powder flood US courts, many women are coming forward claiming that talc-based makeup gave them asbestos-related mesothelioma. Why is talc still present in almost all cosmetics?

Mention asbestos and disease, and most people’s thoughts turn to old, unstable floor tiles or insulation in homes or offices, or jobs in shipbuilding or construction – the kind of heavy industries that employ men in hi-vis jackets and hard hats. One place we don’t tend to think of it is in the beauty industry; rarely do we consider nude eye-shadow palettes or peachy pink blushers as health hazards.

Yet scores of British women are taking leading cosmetic companies to court in the United States, claiming that they contracted mesothelioma – a particularly nasty, treatable, but incurable cancer of the lining of the lung, heart or stomach – through their use of beauty products.