All the possible indications, from eye contact to body language, come with a disclaimer. The truth is, you can never be totally sure ...

I’d be far less paranoid if everyone wasn’t out to get me, so when BBC Science Focus dangled “The subtle signs somebody secretly dislikes you”, I’ve never clicked so fast. Knowledge is power, after all, and the promised signals came courtesy of psychologists via a magazine with the word science in its title.

The first indication? They avoid eye contact. Apparently “someone who repeatedly looks away, scans the room or avoids mutual gaze might be creating psychological distance”. Agreed. But they may also be checking to see who else arrives, which might not mean they secretly hate you, only that they secretly don’t like you as much as whoever just came in.

His good-natured camaraderie on The Traitors has turned him into a viral heartthrob. What these Johnny Come Latelys don’t realise is that he’s always been a man for our times

It’s hard not to wonder how James Acaster feels at the moment. On the one hand, everybody suddenly fancies him, which must be flattering. On the other, all the language around the phenomenon is stuff like “unlikely”, “unexpected” and “bizarre crush”, which is presumably … less so. But there’s no denying that he is now a viral heartthrob, which sounds like something that requires urgent medical attention, but isn’t. After each episode of The Celebrity Traitors, social media is flooded with slow-motion edits and thirst-trap clips of Acaster, including one of him in the castle set to Ginuwine’s Pony that has received more than 500,000 views and counting. Vogue declared that his “specifically east London-y wardrobe has captured the hearts and minds of millennial women countrywide”, and anointed him its “new internet boyfriend”.

For longtime Acaster admirers, loyal listeners to the Off Menu podcast who rooted for him on the seventh series of Taskmaster, this is bittersweet. The smug plus side: we were right all along. The lemony minus: now we have to share him. It’s like those people who saw Oasis in a tiny working-man’s club when they didn’t have a record deal. I fancied Acaster long before this crowd of Johnny Come Latelys at the BBC TV equivalent of Knebworth.

A life coach has helpfully pointed out that we’re all chief executives of our own existence. So let’s start enjoying the perks

To-do lists are done, apparently: the latest tactic to motivate and galvanise yourself is a “CEO hour”. The rationale for this method, courtesy of career and life coach Eva Katzler, is that you are the chief executive officer of your own existence, so you should routinely sit down and check in, just as they do in other businesses, reflecting on the past week and setting intentions for the next. Regularly having a formal meeting with yourself may be the kind of behaviour that makes people start worrying about you, particularly if you power dress for the occasion, but at least you can be sure you’ll get all the best biscuits.

Katzler is against the to-do list because she sees it as “our fast track to feeling like we’re completely out of control, because we can never get through it. When you never get that sense of achievement, what you’re left with is a feeling of failure.”

On Rivet, volunteers get to choose who they think are the most suitable suitors. For an interfering busybody like me, this is a match made in heaven

Sometimes it’s extremely hard to mind your own business. However, we all know that ideally we should, and most of us give it a bloody good go. So when the universe rewards us with an opportunity to do the opposite, it must be grabbed with both hands and cherished like the precious gift it is.

New dating app Rivet lets a random group of volunteers pick users’ matches, AKA gives interfering busybodies who think they know best free rein over strangers’ love lives. I mean, where do I sign up? This is the chance frustrated matchmakers like me have been waiting for, once their supply of single friends has been exhausted (in both senses).