For years it’s been predicted that the market for male ‘support garments’ will take off … but it hasn’t quite happened. Now M&S is trying again

There is a moment – just seconds into getting dressed – when I think I might panic. The hem of my stretchy top has got rolled up round my ribs before my head has popped out of the neck hole, and with my hands still stuck in the sleeves, I cannot reach round to pull it down. I wriggle helplessly for a minute, but the situation doesn’t improve; the band of rolled-up fabric is taut across my chest, immovable. That’s when I feel the first tingle of rising alarm – so familiar from early childhood – that comes of being trapped in your clothes.

I am trying, for the first time, to put on an item of shapewear for men – an ordinary-looking, highly elasticated long-sleeved workout top that will, I hope, give me the instant slim profile of someone who goes to the gym regularly, instead of not since the pandemic started.

Rehearsals for a live broadcast at short notice reduce us to silence then swearing. This does not bode well

On Wednesday afternoon I receive a text that seems to suggest the band I’m in has been invited to play live on national radio. Twenty minutes later, the guitarist rings me.

“Did you get my text?” he says.