In the UK, one in five families are affected by permanent estrangement – it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. These are the questions experts suggest you ask yourself before cutting a relative out of your life

It’s important to be certain you aren’t walking away because it feels more manageable than addressing challenging issues. “Sometimes estrangement is exactly what’s needed for safety and healing. Other times it functions as an attempt to avoid grief, conflict, disappointment or the painful acceptance that a parent cannot become the person one longs for,” says Joshua Coleman, a clinical psychologist and the author of Rules of Estrangement. “Distance alone doesn’t resolve those emotions.”

After retiring at 83, I had a new lease of life creating social media content with my grandson. Then I broke the crowd surfing world record

In 2013, aged 87, I was playing basketball with my grandson Ross in Ohio while he was home from college. He made a video of me blocking his shot, posted it online, and people really ate it up. We started doing comedy skits together and now have more than 4 million followers on Instagram.

After doing lots of short videos, we decided to make a documentary about my life. As part of it, we compiled my bucket list. One of the things I wanted to do was break a world record. Ross and I spent months thinking of something that would be outrageous, but also fun and inclusive. We settled on me becoming the world’s oldest crowd surfer.