In the UK, one in five families are affected by permanent estrangement – it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. These are the questions experts suggest you ask yourself before cutting a relative out of your life

It’s important to be certain you aren’t walking away because it feels more manageable than addressing challenging issues. “Sometimes estrangement is exactly what’s needed for safety and healing. Other times it functions as an attempt to avoid grief, conflict, disappointment or the painful acceptance that a parent cannot become the person one longs for,” says Joshua Coleman, a clinical psychologist and the author of Rules of Estrangement. “Distance alone doesn’t resolve those emotions.”