There is an intense emotional strain involved with parenting a neurodivergent child with mental health issues. But we will do whatever it takes to understand her brain
“There’s something wrong with me!” my seven-year-old daughter sobbed, back in 2018. “Honestly, there isn’t,” I said, giving her a hug. “You’re just a bit sensitive, a bit anxious.” I wanted to be the reassuring parent, the mum who makes everything all right. But I was having the opposite effect on her: I was underplaying her distress, and it scared her, and shook her faith in me. How could she get any help if I didn’t accept there was a problem?
At the time her dad and I didn’t know our daughter was autistic. She was certainly not the easiest to manage, but she was also funny, bright, imaginative and popular at school. And although we were aware that she had intrusive thoughts, separation and sensory issues, a nasty phobia and difficulty controlling her emotions, her teachers, our GP, relatives and friends told us not to worry too much. “She’s a character! She’ll be fine.”
Once motherhood spelled the end of a sporting career. But more mums than ever are taking part in this year’s Olympics and Paralympics (the village even has a nursery for the first time). How do they do it?
Nekoda Smythe-Davis is a Commonwealth gold medal-winning judoka (judo expert) who has won silver and bronze at the World Championships and represented Great Britain at the 2016 Olympics.
After a troubling report on NHS care, the number of pregnant women seeking more control over their birth plans is growing
A growing number of patients are paying up to £8,000 to hire private midwives amid frustration at the poor service many face in the NHS. The UK’s only private maternity hospital, the Portland, has reported treating more women. It comes after a report from MPs this month found women in labour have been mocked, ignored and left with permanent damage by midwives and doctors.
Madeleine Hewitt says it’s time people who support the movement recognised that nothing in nature exists independently. Greg Blonder notes that many of the problems we need to solve are the result of the growing population itself
The Global Footprint Network says we are in ecological overshoot, with humanity using the resources of 1.7 Earths. The UN has made clear that our unsustainable demand for resources is driving the triple planetary crisis: climate change, biodiversity loss, and increasing levels of pollution and waste. And despite the rhetoric of Silicon Valley, technology is not our saviour; it is found to mitigate global extraction by only 5%.
Conceding to her request doesn’t do your relationship any favours, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Take this as an opportunity to develop the relationship as two adults
I’m moving away to another country for university next year and my mum wants to put a tracker on my phone so she can know where I am and make sure I’m OK. I don’t want her to do this, not because I have anything to hide, but because I’d like to have some independence and privacy.
She’s never been a particularly strict parent but she’s insistent on this one thing. But if I tell her, she might think I’m hiding something, or it might upset her as it may be one of the only ways she feels she could be a part of my life when I go – which isn’t true, because I plan to keep in good contact.
The anti-sickness medicine domperidone is increasingly being prescribed or bought illegally to aid lactation. Yet, as I discovered too late, side-effects can include anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts
It is 11 days since I gave birth to my first baby. My breast milk still hasn’t “come in” properly and no one can tell me why. Midwives come and go, looking at me sympathetically and telling me to feed on demand, pump whenever I can and top up with formula milk. Still, I have no idea how I am going to exclusively breastfeed my child, which is what all the advice recommends.
Sleepless, anxious and desperate, I do what many others with the privilege of disposable income do in this situation and pay for a private consultant. I find a local International Board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) online and we meet. She diagnoses my son with tongue-tie, which she treats by snipping the skin connecting his tongue to the bottom of his mouth. She also suggests that I start taking a drug I have never heard of, domperidone, to help me produce more milk.
Squeals and growls tend to occur in groups, finds study of infants aged up to 13 months
It might sound like a stream of jolly nonsense, but the peculiar sounds babies produce could be an attempt to practise the vocal control necessary for speech, researchers have suggested.
A study analysing the sounds made by infants during their first year of life has found squeals and growls tend to occur in groups.
Much has been made of the struggles musicians face when they become mothers – but what about the inspiration? Bat for Lashes, Logic1000 and others discuss the radical energy unleashed by the ultimate collaboration
The year my son was born, I spent a lot of time walking laps of my small ground-floor flat in a milky, slightly hysterical state of sleep deprivation, listening to a set of instrumental albums by Raymond Scott from 1962 called Soothing Sounds for Baby. YouTube helpfully let me put them on repeat, between scratchy loops of synthetically produced white noise.
“Yes! I listened to Soothing Sounds for Baby too!” says Natasha Khan, AKA Bat for Lashes, whose daughter, Delphi, is now three. “Delphi grew up on instrumental and ambient music – a lot of synthy 80s stuff and Japanese composers.” Khan’s new album, The Dream of Delphi, is her own sonic celebration of those sleepless days in early motherhood, with tracks such as The Midwives Have Left, Her First Morning and Letter to My Daughter. “It’s such a hallucinatory, liminal experience that documenting seems to be the only thing you can do,” she says as we video-call on our sofas, talking about the psychedelic transformation that is motherhood.
We would like to hear from people who have taken classes to prepare themselves for pregnancy and parenthood
We’re keen to hear from people who’ve participated in private antenatal classes across the UK in order to prepare themselves for pregnancy and parenthood.
What sort of information were you taught by your course leaders about pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for a baby? Did you find the information to be useful and evidence-based? Or were there statements or comments that gave you pause for thought?
One night in September 2022, like a kid sticking my finger into the flame of a candle, I Googled “how to buy sperm”.
I’d been thinking about it since splitting with a partner a year earlier. I was 37, and had started wondering if continuing on the “traditional” path – meeting someone, getting to know them well enough to decide to have children together, attempting to get pregnant – might cost me the chance to have kids.
Paula Jackson set up Brief Lives – Remembered to give bereaved families a chance to grieve properly
A woman who has helped find the final resting places of nearly 3,500 stillborn babies has said barriers remain to bereaved parents seeking the truth about their children’s fate.
Paula Jackson set up the charity Brief Lives – Remembered in 2004 after helping a friend based in Australia find the grave of his twin sister, named Zoe, who was stillborn in Aldershot military hospital in 1960.
Someone has shripped a parcel to shreds, but it can’t have been Dougie
If ever you land near death’s door, you may find yourself scrolling the options for non-human reincarnation. A noble eagle, perhaps, or a river dolphin; a mountain goat, or a stolid little bumblebee. Your best bet would be to come back as one of my father’s dogs. Free of human responsibility, you’ll still reap many of civilisation’s core benefits, like living indoors, eating cooked meals and watching Loose Women.
Moreover, you will know the love of humankind, for Annie and Dougie – his beautiful but large and needy Labradors – are my father’s most ardent objects of affection and his favourite topic of conversation. They are also, I should add, his favourite conversational partners. Sometimes, while talking to him this week, I’ve caught his face screwing up in resentment as he realises that he is reduced to speaking to a person. Most of all, he is their indefatigable advocate on those occasions when I speak calumny against them.
We all start our journey into motherhood with a Plan A for the birth, but wouldn’t it be helpful if we had a Plan B or C or even D?
Oh God, I mean, I laugh about it now. Which is funny in itself really, the idea that 10 years later I’d be laughing about the day, the dawn, where, white-faced in a room with blood up the walls, I would hand our new raw blinking baby to my boyfriend in order to frantically find, in my Notes app, the document I had grandly named Birth Plan. What was I hoping to find there, I wonder now. It’s funny, it is funny, how I scoured it – “I want a mobile epidural”, “I want gentle guidance rather as opposed to being forced to push” – this plan, written as if ticking off boxes on a dim sum menu, written in the voice of the person I was before. It seemed crucial, in that moment, to see if perhaps I’d given them the wrong piece of paper. Had it been an admin error? The forceps, the lack of drugs, the breast milk not coming in, the blood, was it my fault? I remember reading it again and again, I hadn’t slept for some time, of course, and the baby was crying, but I felt, I think I felt, that even though I had tried to do everything right, something had gone terribly wrong.
It turned out, despite my shock, despite the horrors and their ripples that followed me for years, my experience of giving birth was almost comically pedestrian. It reminded me of the time I got my ears pierced, I must have been about 12, going home on the bus looking at other women’s earrings and thinking, “OK, you’ve felt that same agony” – now I traipsed around London with the baby strapped to me looking at other mothers, thinking, “and yet, you are walking, you are smiling, you are putting on red lipstick in the reflection of a phone?” As the years have passed I’ve talked to other people about their births with a kind of hunger – these are stories of babies almost dying and mothers almost dying, and worse, of course – so when last week’s report on birth trauma was published, no part of me was surprised at the findings. I can’t imagine many parents were.
We interviewed three people whose holiday habits seem precision-engineered to wind up people on Twitter and TikTok. The adult Disney fanatic who's been on more than 70 Disney-themed holidays. A private landlord who flies first class while leaving his kids (and their nanny) to slum it in economy. And what about a 47-year-old who still stays in hostels? Do these people deserve their pariah status? Or might we have something to learn from listening to their perspectives? from Three Maligned Modern Tourists Defend Themselves [Vice]
I have a strong attachment to my family – in particular my three siblings. We live in different countries but the bond is strong.
I have two children, aged six and two, but I’ve always wanted three. I know I am beyond lucky and grateful to have two. Since I had my second, I have been grappling with the internal debate “Should we have a third or not” and as I have just turned 40, it is occupying more space in my head.
From the 1960s, baby brokers persuaded often Indigenous Mayan women to give up newborns while kidnappers ‘disappeared’ babies. Now, international adoption is being called out as a way of covering up war crimes. By Rachel Nolan
At Tea Magic in New York, I’m happy to indulge my girls and their friends in the latest soft-drink craze. Until things kick off
Last Friday, I took four nine-year-old girls to their favourite after-school hang-out, Tea Magic, a place that is distinct from, and in their view superior to, Shiny Tea, Gong Cha Tea, Coco Tea and Mochi Dulci. If you had to create in a laboratory an environment to appeal to tween girls it would be this one: on each wall, huge Hello Kitty-type murals and a menu involving combined fluorescent syrups and a range of brightly coloured add-ons loosely inspired by the tapioca “boba tea”. Within seven minutes, everyone was jacked up on sugar, including a group of girls from a rival elementary school, whereupon things briefly got exciting.
As someone who grew up in the era of Panda Cola, I’ll admit that fashion as expressed through the medium of soft drinks is something I occasionally struggle with. Fifteen years ago, I was kind of on board with iced coffee, which was a mistake. (First, the ice means you get less coffee, which means the Man wins again. Second, when the ice melts, you are effectively drinking coffee-flavoured water; wise up people, this isn’t desirable). More recently, when fruit-flavoured seltzer became a thing in New York – specifically, the brand La Croix – I wasn’t on board with that, either, mainly because I’m not 14 years old, and also because we buy our seltzer in 32-can off-brand crates from Costco that cost about half the price.
She hadn’t lived in India for 50 years, but her last request was to be returned to the place of her birth. On the banks of the Ganges there were tears – but also all the chaos, hustle and humour of life
In October 2019, I was in India, standing by the dusty banks of the Ganges on a quest to spread my grandmother’s ashes. She hadn’t lived in the country for the last 50 years and hadn’t even set foot in it for a decade at least. My parents had never lived there and neither had my brother and I. This wasn’t a homecoming. It was a chore borne from her final request: to perform her last rites in the place she had barely clung on to. It was a strange holiday.
At 25, I had already experienced my fair share of goodbyes. The deceased were second cousins, granduncles, grandparents, even school classmates, and the ritual was always the same. We would visit their home to see the coffin and hear the wails of the surrounding mourners before heading to the local crematorium in Hounslow, west London. Regardless of the weather outside, the lofty chapel always felt grey and chilly. Close family members would weep through the eulogies while I looked on and blinked. The curtains would then close dramatically in front of the coffin, marking a symbolic departure to another world.
Most people aren’t intentionally toxic. Rather, the way we were raised, the relationships we have, or our own temperament can allow bad habits to slip into the way we parent in a way that can negatively impact our longterm relationships with our kids. That’s one of the (many) struggles that comes with this role—we can’t always accurately pinpoint how we’re doing in any given moment. We may not discover for many years whether we’re raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted young adults or not.
Even if we’re perfect, which is an impossible standard, success (however you would define it) is not guaranteed. But there are ways to stack the deck in our favor—starting by ridding any toxicity that has seeped into the way we parent. If you see yourself if any of these, you’re not alone. We’ve all done some of this to some degree at some point. We’ve all had bad days. Kids are both resilient and forgiving, and there’s always time to course-correct. The first step is recognizing the areas that need a reset.
Stifling their independence
Call it helicopter parenting when they’re younger or an inability to “cut the cord” when they get older—either way, it’s not good. We have to foster our kids’ independence as much as possible so they arrive on their college campus able to get to class on time, advocate for themselves with their teacher, make themselves a bowl of spaghetti for dinner, and do their own laundry.
Instilling competence in them doesn’t happen all at once when they’re about to move out of your home for the first time, though; it happens gradually over time by letting them face age-appropriate challenges. Are they going to spill the milk the first time they attempt to pour it on their own into a cup? Of course they are; we all did. But spilling the milk teaches them that if they’re not careful, the milk comes out too fast, and next time, they’ll pour more slowly. That’s a competence-builder. (Plus they also get to practice cleaning up spilled milk, which you could view as a bonus independence-strengthening moment.)
That’s a minor example, and I’m not suggesting a parent is toxic if they choose to not deal with a gallon of milk spreading across the kitchen floor when it’s already been a long enough day; I’m just saying these little moments of possibility pop up all around us, and we should take advantage of them when we can so that we’re not stifling their ability to grow into independent adults.
Labeling them in negative (or semi-negative) ways
Labels have a way of creeping into our language. At first, we may mean to describe a behavior, particularly one that is undesirable. But when a label is used over and over, it stops describing the behavior and, instead, declares that behavior to be a fundamental truth about the other person. With kids, I’m talking about things like shy, picky, stubborn, bossy, or a crybaby.
Kids have a way of rising (or falling) to our expectations of them. Call a girl bossy, and she learns to keep her opinions and her innate desire to lead to herself. Call a boy a crybaby, and he learns to stuff his emotions deep inside. Call a kid a picky eater, and they become even more resistant to trying new things. Sometimes these labels come out in a well-intentioned way; we are embarrassed that Jimmy won’t greet Uncle Sal, whom he hasn’t seen in two years, so we explain it away as shyness. But kids take our words as absolute fact, and they are likely to see themselves exactly as they think we see them.
Also, avoid globalizing language like, “you always...” or “you never...” It’s not motivating or supportive for a child to try change a behavior if they know you see it as an inevitable, embedded part of who they are. Instead, you can say something like, “You seem to get frustrated when...” or “How can I help you to...?” It’s the difference between attributing a behavior or emotional response as a fixed part of who they are, versus something situational you can help them through.
Using discipline to punish, not teach
Do your kids need to experience consequences when they misbehave? Sure, of course they do. But when discipline shifts from a teaching moment to a punishing moment—particularly if that punishment causes harm, embarrassment, or shame—you’ve entered toxic territory. Psychologist Karen Young of Hey Sigmund explains it well here (and offers a different approach):
Discipline comes from the word disciple, as in ‘to teach’. Discipline was never meant to be about punishment for the sake of punishment or jumping on everything they get wrong. In toxic families, children learn to brace, ready for the next ‘gotcha’ that is often impossible to see coming. When we pull them up too harshly for everything they get wrong, the environment feels fragile. The need for control escalates, because of what can come out of nowhere. When they get it wrong, this is an important opportunity to let them see that even when they aren’t perfect, they’re still okay, and so is getting it wrong sometimes.
Influence will always be more far-reaching than control. Influence comes from being someone they want to listen to, rather than being someone they are scared of. Don’t let punishment fill the gap when you don’t know what else to do. Be okay with asking for space and time. “I am not happy with the way you hurt your sister. I need to think about what happens next.” Alternatively, involve them in the process. “You have really hurt her feelings by calling her names. What do you think should happen next?”
Shutting them down
There is a thing my husband and I used to say to our son that we thought was reassuring but actually made him feel worse: “You’ll be fine.” If he’d forget his water bottle at home (my child fears thirst), or he realized he had a longer than anticipated walk ahead of him, or whatever other minor inconvenience he was experiencing, we’d tell him that he’ll be fine. Because we knew he would be.
We knew we could find water if he got thirsty, we knew his legs might get tired, but they’d still carry him the whole way. What we wanted to do was stop the anxiety from building up in him—but our pathetic little reassurance had the exact opposite effect. Now he was feeling stressed and his parents were dismissing his feelings, which, luckily, he clearly articulated to us once so we could better support him in those little moments.
Kids can feel how they feel. How they act out of their feelings may or may not be okay, but a lot of times, they (like us) just need to be heard and validated. And when we invalidate or ignore their feelings—or shut them down completely (“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about,” for example)—we’re creating a toxic environment in which they no longer feel safe talking about their feelings.
Letting your own frustration get the best of you
We all yell from time to time. Sometimes we yell because someone is in actual danger, sometimes we yell to be heard, and sometimes we yell because we’re having a day. But if we analyze our yelling during a time when we’re calm, we may start to notice patterns in our own personal pain points (getting out the door to school in the morning, for example)—which is the first step toward a calmer you and, therefore, a calmer home.
[Child psychology expert] Dr. [Jeffrey] Bernstein believes that parents can recognize how their own frustrations impact their child’s behavior. “When you learn to identify and manage your own parenting frustrations, you’ll be amazed at how your child’s challenging behaviors can quickly improve,” he says.
This might mean that you schedule extra time into your morning routine to prepare for a lengthy breakfast, or the five extra minutes your child needs to put her shoes on just right. Instead of berating your child for your own lack of planning, find ways to reduce the frustration before it begins.
Confiding your personal problems to them
It’s a wonderful thing for a child to grow up in a home where there is lots of open and honest communication—but that openness and honesty crosses the line when kids are expected to take on the burden of grown-up problems. Your child is not the person to talk to about marital problems, financial stress, or toxicity within your extended family.
Even if you feel like you’re just venting for a moment, kids may worry about whatever you’ve confided in them long after you do. They don’t have the same perspective you may have on a problem, and even if you’re just momentarily annoyed that their dad failed to take the trash out again, they may have a friend whose parents are going through a divorce, so now they may silently worry that this means you’re going to move out. You should be their sounding board, but not the other way around.
(Additionally, you should never blame them for whatever problems you’re experiencing or imply how much easier life was before they came along. Kids are quick enough to blame themselves for all manner of things completely out of their control; they need to know they’re not just loved but wanted.)
Comparing your kids to each other
Maybe you’ve got one child who tends to follow rules, do their chores, and get good grades—and another one who, well, doesn’t. When you’re all living under the same roof, it’s impossible not to notice the differences in your kids’ temperaments and behaviors; but those comparisons should reside permanently within your own head. Chances are good they’ve already noticed the differences anyway (how could they not?). A parent pointing out the way one child excels where another falls short is never a self-esteem building exercise, and self-esteem is what you want your kids to have.
Remember that your kids are supposed to be different—they are individuals. Some kids are more challenging to parent, but those kids are often the kids who grow up and blow us away with who they become.
(While you’re at it, don’t compare them to their friends either.)
It wasn't how I wanted to spend an entire Sunday, but seeing how devastated my oldest son was when he realized he had lost one of his favorite toys, I had to do something. As we spent hours combing every corner of his room, searching for the elusive plaything, I came to an epiphany: My kids have too much stuff.
Studies have shown that an excess of toys can overwhelm children, leading to less creativity, learning, and skill growth during playtime. However, by implementing a toy rotation system, you can reduce clutter and ensure your children have a variety of toys to play with, while also promoting the development of their cognitive and motor skills development.
If you want to cut down on the clutter but aren't ready to throw out your child's toys just yet, you can try a toy rotation. According to Parents, you should divide toys into groups based on their type, age-appropriateness, or interest level, and children can access one group at a time. Groups are switched after a certain period, helping previously stashed toys feel new and exciting again while keeping children engaged and interested.
Speaking of overwhelming, starting a toy rotation can be a formidable task that can be frustrating for both parents and children. Below are some simple steps to help you get started so your children can have a tidy room and you can regain some sanity.
Gather all your child's toys (and throw out the broken ones)
That's right. Search every corner of your home, check out those storage bins in your garage, and look under the deep, dark recesses under your child's bed. You might get your children to help you, but if they are anything like mine, they will protest this process every step of the way.
Gather every toy your children have in one spot. Once you see that ginormous pile, you might wonder what you've gotten yourself into, but this will lead to better organization in the long run.
While gathering things, toss out any toys that have missing or broken pieces. See all the small gifts they got at that birthday party and those Happy Meal toys that take up valuable space on your child's end table? Throw them out. There's also a good chance your kids have outgrown many of the toys you've gathered. If your 8-year-old is still hanging on to that Tickle-Me Elmo you gave them for Christmas when they were 2, it's time to give it away.
Start sorting
Now that your child's toys are down to a (hopefully) reasonable number, it's time to start sorting them into categories. You can categorize them based on type (e.g., dolls, action figures, building blocks), age-appropriateness (e.g., for toddlers, for school-age children), or interest level (e.g., educational toys, outdoor toys). It doesn't matter how you categorize them as long as you can make sense of it all.
Divide and conquer into sets (and make some exceptions)
The next step is to put several toys from each category into rotation sets. The secret to success in this step is to think like your child. For example, suppose you include a dinosaur jigsaw puzzle in a set. In that case, incorporate some action figures from Jurassic World that they might enjoy. If you're including some dolls in a set, encourage some cross-play by including a tea party toy. Then, label the box and put it away.
If you want to get a project done as soon as possible, this blogger swears by this system: Take 10 toys and put them into a storage container. Then, put the container away.
You can (and should) be flexible about the toys your kids play with every day. For example, my youngest son plays with his Magna-Tiles daily. Storing them away seems counterintuitive to promoting the cognitive and imagination skills that this particular building toy encourages. They also work well with any of the toys he has in rotation.
Create a schedule
Remember, the toy rotation system is flexible. You can rotate toys monthly, weekly, or whenever your children feel they need a change. Now that the hard part is done, a rotation schedule can be adapted to your family's needs.
How do I add new toys to the rotation?
Around the holiday season or your child's birthday, chances are some new toys will be added to the rotation. You can integrate them into their current rotation or insert them in a set where they best fit. You can even ask your child to donate some older toys so their new ones fit into their current set. This system keeps down clutter and promotes sharing and gratitude, which is why you created a toy rotation system in the first place.
I’ve been a bereavement counsellor and a bereaved daughter. Both taught me that we need to face our emotions
It’s almost a year since my dad died. Even though he lived into his late 80s, and even though his health problems began when I was a child, his death was nevertheless a terrible shock. It still is. It was the most predictable thing in the world, but I still can’t believe it. The wave of grief surges up whenever I think of a joke he would have liked, or whenever I hear his advice in my head, and whenever I catch sight of his ashes, stored in a Hellmann’s mayonnaise jar on my bookshelf until a more suitable container can be found. (He liked Hellmann’s, but not that much.) Each time I’m left gasping for air from the pain and, strange as it sounds, I’m grateful for it. Because I know this grieving life is far better than the alternative.
Years ago I volunteered as a bereavement counsellor, and I remember vividly the moment in training where it finally clicked: my job was not to take away people’s grief, but to help them feel it. You see, you may not need counselling or therapy if you are truly grieving; but you may well need it if you aren’t. Grief is a horror, and it’s supposed to be. Where grief has got stuck, or when it has still not even begun – that is when you might need a protected space, and time, and a good, receptive listener with whom you can find it in yourself to truly suffer the pain of your loss.
A group that began as 23 Black fathers from London on WhatsApp is now a worldwide digital space where 40,000 men discuss being Black and a parent
Dope Black Dads was formed by Marvyn Harrison on Father’s Day 2018, initially as a WhatsApp group of 23 Black fathers he knew in London. It has since developed as a digital safe space for some 40,000 fathers from the international community to discuss their experiences of being Black, being a parent and masculinity in the modern world.
The group brings together men who are navigating fatherhood, societal pressures and the age-old stereotype of the absent Black father. Far too often societal biases perpetuate the myth of absent or disengaged Black fathers. The photographer sees this portrait series as an opportunity to uplift the ideology of Black men, especially in their role as fathers. The work is a celebration of joy, pride and love, and a tribute to the strength, resilience and beauty of Black families, amplifying their voices and contributing to a more nuanced and compassionate understanding of Black fatherhood.
Klopp’s final game at Anfield will be momentous. But in life, the everyday endings we don’t notice are often the most poignant
Who was the last football manager to transcend his sport in the way that Jürgen Klopp has? Arsène Wenger? Brian Clough? Bill Shankly? Since arriving at Liverpool in 2015, Klopp has revived the fortunes of a club that had for too long been trading on past glories, bringing with him a thrilling style of play he has himself described as “heavy metal football”. So there was a palpable sense of shock when, in January, he announced that at the end of the season he would be leaving the club and taking a break from football.
The reverberations from Klopp’s decision to step down have been felt far beyond those for whom Gegenpressing is a familiar concept (and far beyond Merseyside – for the record, I have never had any great affection for Liverpool FC, except when they’re playing Manchester City or Newcastle). In an era when sports “personalities” go to great lengths not to express anything that could be construed as an opinion, he has been refreshingly honest about politics (he’s leftwing), Brexit (it “makes no sense”) and Covid vaccinations (comparing anti-vaxxers to drink-drivers and, when the Omicron variant appeared, making a direct plea to Liverpool fans to get jabbed). Couple this outspokenness with a natural charm, a sharp sense of humour and an irrepressible enthusiasm, and it’s easy to see why the German coach’s exit is not just a loss to British football, but to the wider country, too.
Even if we’re not sure what to do with it just yet
‘Gloob!’ says my daughter. This is what she calls the globe that sits on a shelf in our sitting room. It’s one of my favourite among her neologisms, and one we’re unlikely to grow sick of hearing. This is primarily because ‘gloob’ is one of the best syllables to hear pronounced by a ginger two-year-old, but also because time spent with her gloob means many precious minutes of self-directed play, allowing us a break from the more full-on supervision she so typically prefers.
Nana and Grandad bought the gloob for our son’s fifth birthday. It’s around 60cm in diameter, battery operated and comes with a stylus attached. It’s mounted on a base with a small LCD screen, which displays facts and figures about anything you point the stylus toward. It offers wildly detailed information on population, demography and national customs. Each creature mentioned is delineated by class and notes are given on its diet and herding patterns.
‘Heavy-handed’ crackdown ignores underlying reasons for failure to attend classes, say critics
Some schools in England are sending police to the homes of children who are persistently absent, or warning them their parents may go to prison if their attendance doesn’t improve, the Observer has learned.
Headteachers say they are now under intense pressure from the government to turn around the crisis in attendance, with a record 150,000 children at state schools classed as severely absent in 2022-23. From September, all state schools in England will have to share their attendance records every day with the Department for Education.
Four days after my child was born, I began experiencing postpartum psychosis. What I learned changed my life
The first time I start hallucinating I am home, alone, with my baby. Drunk from lack of sleep I watch as his features morph in and out of shape. I take photo after photo, trying to capture what I see.
A few days later, while I am pushing the pram outside, it happens again. I pull the hood down to hide my baby from prying eyes. I no longer know who I can trust.
I am dead, I am dead. And because I am dead it won’t matter if I take my own life. No one can miss what was never real.
I was around for the Shrewsbury and Telford hospital trust report a couple of years ago. All those dead babies, all those mothers and parents talking about not being listened to or respected. All that handwringing from service providers, all those promises from politicians. The recommendations were set up to prevent the experiences we heard about this week (‘I was left lying on the ground in pain’: shocking stories from UK birth trauma inquiry, 13 May). For instance, continuity of midwifery care through the maternal pathway prevents so much of the stuff we read about now.
There are plenty of reasons to love Dolly Parton. In addition to being one of the best singer-songwriters of all time, she is a fashion icon, a feminist, and a philanthropist. Her charitable contributions even helped fund the discovery of the COVID-19 vaccine. All this and she sends free books to kids?
Yes, the country star and namesake of the Dollywood theme park is also the founder of the non-profit Imagination Library. The program, which aims to provide free books to children ages five and under, was inspired by Parton's father, who was unable to read or write she was growing up—fueling the singer's own commitment to literacy.
Once you register your eligible child for the program, you will begin receiving one free book each month, shipped to your home, through their fifth birthday (up to 60 books total). According to the organization's website, since 1995 it has donated nearly 227 million books to children in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, the Republic of Ireland, and Australia, with over 29 million given out last year alone.
Signing your kids up for this service is a relative breeze. There are no complicated requirements, other than meeting the age criteria and residing in an area served by the program. Read on to discover how your family can participate.
How to sign up for the Imagination Library
To get free books from Dolly Parton (or rather, her charitable foundation), you'll first have to see if the Imagination Library is in your community. Start by visiting the organization's availability page. Once there, choose your country and enter your zip code.
If the program is available in your area, you'll have to submit your mailing address and some personal information (name and age) about your child on the next page. If online isn't your thing, contact your local affiliate to sign them up directly. (If a program isn't available where you live, the website will prompt you to join a mailing list so you know if and when that changes.)
As noted, income is not a factor in participating in Dolly Parton's book club program, so every child can participate, regardless of a family's financial situation. As long as an affiliate is in your area, you can enroll your child.
What books will I get?
Enrolling your child in the Imagination Library from birth means you'll receive up to 60 different books—one for each month of your child's life, from birth through their fifth birthday. The books selected will change monthly, but the first and last books are always the same: Each child begins the program with the classic The Little Engine That Could and wraps up with Kindergarten, Here I Come!
According to the organization, the books you'll receive will be age-appropriate and promote diversity, self-confidence, and the importance of the arts. They are also available in audio and braille formats for children with hearing or visual impairments. Past selections have included Last Stop At Market Street, Peter Rabbit, and The Big Book.
What if there isn't an Imagination Library affiliate in my area?
If there's no Imagination Library in your area, you can do the work to establish an Imagination Library affiliate.
To begin, you will need to find ways to financially cover the wholesale cost of the books, as well as the cost of mailing them, which you can do through fundraising or seeking partnerships. The books are mailed at special non-profit mailing rates, so you will also need to find a non-profit partner, such as a school district or charitable foundation, to qualify for these rates.
If you're ready to get started, click here for more tips on getting your Imagination Library affiliate off the ground and more books into the hands of kids.
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