In the UK, one in five families are affected by permanent estrangement – it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. These are the questions experts suggest you ask yourself before cutting a relative out of your life
It’s important to be certain you aren’t walking away because it feels more manageable than addressing challenging issues. “Sometimes estrangement is exactly what’s needed for safety and healing. Other times it functions as an attempt to avoid grief, conflict, disappointment or the painful acceptance that a parent cannot become the person one longs for,” says Joshua Coleman, a clinical psychologist and the author of Rules of Estrangement. “Distance alone doesn’t resolve those emotions.”
After retiring at 83, I had a new lease of life creating social media content with my grandson. Then I broke the crowd surfing world record
In 2013, aged 87, I was playing basketball with my grandson Ross in Ohio while he was home from college. He made a video of me blocking his shot, posted it online, and people really ate it up. We started doing comedy skits together and now have more than 4 million followers on Instagram.
After doing lots of short videos, we decided to make a documentary about my life. As part of it, we compiled my bucket list. One of the things I wanted to do was break a world record. Ross and I spent months thinking of something that would be outrageous, but also fun and inclusive. We settled on me becoming the world’s oldest crowd surfer.
It used to be quite normal to pop next door for a coffee or invite friends over for dinner. But not any more. What’s behind this change – and just how damaging is it?
‘I really loved hosting at home years ago, before I had kids, when my house wasn’t filled with toys and I had lots of time to plan and shop,” says Rehanna, 41, from Birmingham. Now, if she’s catching up with friends, she would rather go out. “I can’t host and cook at the same time, so if I have people over it will usually be a cold buffet I have made earlier. There are so many really nice restaurants where I live that I’d prefer to go out and try something new than make an old favourite at home.”
Personally, I’d never say no to a cold buffet – but Rehanna’s story is not unusual. In the US, the number of people who regularly host friends or family fell from 42% in 1975 to 12% in 2026 – a 70% drop over the last 50 years. In the UK, the numbers are not much better: last year, a poll of 2,000 adults found that more than four in 10 British people avoid hosting at home due to the clean-up it requires. And while chef Nigella Lawson is back on TV screens demonstrating her culinary prowess on The Great British Bake Off, it wasn’t long ago that the self-proclaimed domestic goddess revealed even she had “got out of the habit” of hosting formal dinner parties.
Òran Mór, Glasgow Blythe Duff and Mark Barrett are excellent as two people helplessly bound to each other in this bitter two-hander
The arrival of a first baby changes everything. It is not just the upheaval of fitting the child into your life: the shift is also psychological. Children become parents. Parents become grandparents. Responsibility and accountability move down a generation.
That is why, in Jonny Donahoe’s knotty, bitter two-hander, a man known only as Son (Mark Barrett) has called on Mother (Blythe Duff) after an eight-month gap. She is spikily indifferent to his appearance, here in her back garden where she is burning family photographs on a bonfire. Despite the frosty reception, he must persist.
Fiona Lindop says she will always be grateful to the TV presenter for establishing the Meet-a-Mum Association
Esther Rantzen (Obituary, 1 October) is rightly remembered and honoured for her wide-ranging charity work, including establishing Childline and the Silver Line. One of the charities that she pioneered was the Meet-a-Mum Association (Mama), founded in 1979. Mama established a network of local groups offering friendship and support for new mothers.
In 1984, I was a young mum with a toddler and a two-week-old baby, and had just moved to Hertfordshire from South Yorkshire. Mama was a lifeline that helped me become part of the new community with access to support, and I joined the local Mama committee soon after.
From Day of the Dead to Samhain, celebrating autumn is centuries old. Now, I want this to be a moment of magic and connection for my kids
Darker nights are drawing in, there’s a hint of a chill in the air and the supermarket’s seasonal aisles are groaning with spooky paraphernalia. Halloween is coming. Every year about now, I tell myself I’m going to get my hands on a pumpkin and bake a pie like the ones my mum would make with us when we were little.
Halloween wasn’t a huge deal in our house, and neither was baking, but I hold warm memories of helping my mum go through the steps that led us to one delicious latticed pumpkin pie and one ugly jack o’lantern that we would display in the window with pride.
For generations, professional photographers have captured the country’s pupils in all their awkward glory. But an increasing number of parents are using AI to avoid paying them
My wife is obsessed with everything that’s happening in the US. She literally spends all day sitting on the couch, watching videos and reading opinion pieces. She’s originally from America and has been living abroad for 25 years and she has family in the US, so I get that she needs to feel connected to what’s happening. But it’s constant. Whether we’re eating, watching a TV show or movie, when we’re talking about something completely unrelated – everything, every topic, either starts or ends with outrage.
I’ve told her she needs to take at least one day off all social media, but she won’t do that even for an hour. It stresses her out more and more every day, but she just keeps going back to it – and it has been really affecting me, more lately than ever. On weekends I stay up late playing games (my way of winding down after a week of work) and she’ll go to bed early. And during those times sometimes I just sit and cry. Everything that’s happening is so stressful, and there’s nothing we can do about it. I just wish I could rip away her phone and let her breathe! I don’t know what to say or do. Is there anything that could help?
Karin Wulf (9/2026), "The Family History of Sally Hemings and Thomas Jefferson, and the Politics of Genealogy": "a team ... has been working with a strand of Thomas Jefferson's hair to compare recovered DNA with that contributed by descendants of Sally Hemings ... More problematic is the failure of most of the flurry of media attention ... to resist tired and tiresome framings ... History regularly skips or dismisses the essential history of family." Wulf's other posts on "Reading Family History" (2, 3, 4, 5, 6), her course on "Gender, Sexuality and Family in the Early Modern Atlantic World," and other posts / tidbits. Also this month, an interview with Marcia Biederman on a later family's history: "the true story of an Alaska Native woman" with "villainous relatives: the mother- and sister-in-law from hell, who welcomed Agnes by showing her to a stark, unheated attic room." Via.
There is a lot going on right now regarding the safety of kids online.
In the United States, the majority of state legislatures have passed age verification laws requiring a variety of websites to more rigorously verify the age of their visitors. In the United Kingdom, Canada, Norway, Spain, and Germany, lawmakers are considering bans on social media access for anyone under the age of 16—Australia passed its ban in 2025. In schools across the world, smartphones have been removed from classrooms, hallways, and cafeterias. And online, some of the most popular apps and video games with children, such as Discord and Roblox, have implemented default restrictions on what young users can find and who they reach.
Today, on the Lock and Code podcast with host David Ruiz, we bring back Anna Brading, editor-in-chief of Malwarebytes Labs and director of content and, perhaps most importantly, mother of three. With a long career in cybersecurity—and an equally long time spent reading, writing, and assigning some of the cybersecurity world’s most pressing headlines—Brading has a unique perspective on what is most dangerous to her children online.
Brading’s list of priorities is long, and includes improper image use, “online nastiness,” and Roblox, but she has a few rules and guidelines to help. She sets a one-hour-a-day video game limit on the weekends, restricts YouTube to a communal and monitored activity, and requests that no one share photos of her children online without her express permission. Importantly, she also reminds parents to trust their guts.
“If the norm now is mental health issues or online grooming or non-consensual porn or constant comparison, then I’m okay without my kids fitting in. I would say be radical, buck the trend, don’t do what everybody else is doing. Say no to things you don’t feel comfortable with.”
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